Sunday, March 27, 2005


Ph34r t3h R3|) S0x |)r34|\/| T34|\/|

I read Marc's team, and was immediately prompted from my posting slumber (also known as binge drinking and Diablo 2 playing), into research and response.

First team
C- Jason Varitek - Nothing cements your spot like making Gay-Rod your ragdoll bitch in a brawl. Honestly, I would have given him 11 million if he'd promised once a year to incite a riot and level a Yankee. What ticket price could be too high for that?
1b- This was insanely close, but I'm giving the nod to Mo Vaughn. I can remember in the mid to late 90s wathching the Red Sox play, and giggling with delight every time he put a ball over 3 counties, or even better, when the Hit Dog morphed into the Speed Dog and stole a base. Nothing says your catcher can't throw like Mo Vaughn stealing second.
2b- Jeff Frye- It's hard to describe why I love Jeff Frye. Maybe he was just the second basemen all those years on the Red Sox team I grew up with. Maybe he had a haircut like I did when I was in gradeschool. Maybe it was just because he was clutch, and played a great second base. Ok, I'll be honest. He makes me think of french fries.
3b- The easiest pick on the list. Tim Naehring. To sum up my love for Tim Naehring would take a whole article. I met him once at the Burlington Mall for an autograph session. I was about 10 years old at the time, and I can remember asking how his injury was doing, and he was shocked I knew anything about it. He was more shocked I had a version of a card of him he'd never seen. Of course, he may have been even more shocked when I knew his career stats off the top of my head, and thanked him for playing a great hot corner. To this day, my Tim Naehring signed baseball is one of my favorite baseball possessions. Thanks Tim Naehring, wherever you are, for playing the game it was meant to be played.
SS- John Valentin. Triple. Play. Sideburns. Enough said.
LF- Mike Greenwell. The Gator! Because he was a guy who you knew played for the purity of the game, steroid free, alcohol induced. Not to mention he had one heck of an arm.
CF- Otis Nixon. For he was speedy, old, and I could scream O T I S years before the Patriots made it fashionable.
RF- Trot Nixon. Hands down the second easiest pick. I saw him in Portland at a sea dogs game when he was playing with the Trenton Thunder. I went up and asked him for an autograph, and he said he didn't have time to sign, so he threw me a ball. Now this alone would have been cool, because he didn't have to do anything and did, but what he did next rocked. I asked Donnie Sadler for an autograph, and he said he'd get me between innings. By the 7th inning he hasn't come, so I scream to Trot, "Tell Donnie Sadler he's never going to make it if he's not cooler like you". After the game, we're waiting for the players to walk out, and Sadler and Nixon walks by. Trot Nixon to Donnie Sadler after I again ask for his autograph "Quit being a dick and sign the kids ball". I freaking heart you Trot.
DH- David Ortiz- Big Papi. The whole, being a huge part of the World Championship thing is cool, not to mention I can call him Dav-id.

Second Team
C- Sorry Scott Hatteberg, his name is Doug Mirabelli, and he hits bombs, and catches knuckle balls.
1b- Kevin Millar - Because Jack Daniels is good, no matter who you are. Not to mention he's a giant goofball.
2b- Mark Bellhorn - It's close between he and todd walker, but i'm going Bellhorn, for A) Raping the yankees in ways that would land him in prison during this offseason. And B) I want a mullet like haircut too.
3b- Scott Cooper - For being the only Red Sox to make the all star team the year I first collected the Upper Deck SP cards (93). I could be wrong about the only one, but he's the only one I remember.
SS- Can I say Hanley?
LF- Manny Ramirez - Would have been first team if I didn't love the gator. Consistency, a mop for hair, and the WS MVP.
CF- Johnny Damon. Because I can walk around, and say I love Unfrozen caveman Jesus, and people know I'm a Red Sox man, and not a sacreligious archaeologist.
RF- Carl Everett- 9 games in RF for the Sox in 2001. Maybe it was his insanity. Maybe it was the way he beat a ball like I'm sure he would beat me in a back alley if I looked at him sideways. I just <3>

When you said Scott Fletcher, I'm just going to pretend you said Scott Cooper...and his all-star appearances make Ken Harvey look like he deserves his All-Star spot.
I did, in fact, i've already edited it, so your point is moot!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?